Profile of an Abuser

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Abusers can look like anyone: they can be of any background, age, race, gender, and culture. But there are common traits in how abusers act:

  • Jekyll and Hyde personality: Cruel and abusive at times, but loving, kind and giving at others.
  • Explosive temper: Flies into a rage without provocation.
  • Never at fault: Projects their own faults onto others and blames everyone else (or alcohol and drugs) when things go wrong; believes their behavior should not have any negative consequences.
  • Critical: Says things to their partner that makes them feel they will never be good enough.
  • Big ego: Acts entitled and self-important; above the law; always bragging and boasting.
  • Close-minded: Has stereotypical ideas about what men and women should and can do.
  • Needs constant praise: Requires validation and admiration from others in order to boost their ego.
  • Always needs control: Hungry for power in order to feel in control.
  • Jealous: They’re suspicious and possessive of their partner.
  • Exposed to abuse: They may have been abused as a child or lived in an abusive household.
  • Copes with substances: Uses drugs and/or alcohol to cope with stress.
  • Gets worse with change: Major life changes, such as a new baby or job, often lead them to become even more violent and cruel.
  • Social problems: Gets in trouble at work, in the community, and even with the law.
  • Uses threats: Makes threats regarding the safety of children, family members, friends, and/or self.

If this sounds like your partner, call our 24/7 Help/Crisis Line at 1-773-583-HOPE (4673) for a free and confidential consultation.

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