Domestic abuse comes in all different forms. It is a pattern of behavior where someone hurts or manipulates their relationship partner to gain power and control over them. Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. It can also be verbal, emotional, spiritual and financial. It can happen to people of all races, religions, cultures, and backgrounds – and it is never okay, justified, or acceptable. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men report experiencing domestic abuse in their lifetime..
Each night of Chanukah and every day you are concerned that your friend or family member is in an abusive relationship you can:
- Talk with them privately and in person, if possible. Reassure them that your discussions will remain confidential. Live up to your promise.
Express concern and be specific
- Tell them that you are concerned and be specific. You may be the first person who has ever hinted that these things may not be acceptable or healthy.
Ask them what they think
- Are they concerned too? Consider asking if they are afraid for themselves or their children.
Affirm their feelings
- Listen to, believe, and affirm their feelings. This may be the first time her feelings have ever been acknowledged.
Offer Moral Support
- Emphasize their strengths and intrinsic value as a person. Remind them that they are not alone. Good, caring, healthy, and intelligent people have challenges and setbacks.
Offer Practical Resources
- SHALVA, other community agencies, therapists, Rabbis, and school social workers are all places they can go for help and support.
Make a Plan for Safety
- Plan for safety. Remind them that it is helpful to create a safety plan since it can be hard to think and react in a time of emergency or high stress.
Respect their choices
- Let them make their own decisions and respect their choices even if you don’t agree with them.
Show You CARE was designed to help you support someone experiencing domestic abuse. If you know or suspect someone is being abused by the person they love, this is the place to start. You can make a positive difference by providing validation and support. Find out more>>