A well-known part of the Passover Seder is the description of The Four Sons/Children. This section reminds us of the Jewish obligation to teach the next generation about this powerful story, and, importantly, not to tell the story in just the one way that might be easiest for us. We need to invite others to be a part of the conversation, strive to meet them where they are individually and respect the way each one interacts in the world. We can use these lessons for educating our community about intimate partner abuse as well.
The wise child asks about the specifics of domestic violence in our community. To them we respond with the statistics that 1:3 women and 1:4 men will experience domestic abuse in some form in their lifetime and that these statistics are just as accurate in the Jewish community as the community at large.
The wicked child wonders why they should care about domestic abuse? The answer is that domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It could impact you, a family member, friend or coworker. SHALVA believes domestic abuse is a community issue. We must not be bystanders when we see suffering.
The simple child asks what does this mean? We respond with the most basic of truths, SHALVA’s core belief that everyone has the right to feel safe in their intimate partner relationship.
For the child who does not know how to ask, we share SHALVA’s aspirational vision statement and urge them to consider what they can do to bring it to fruition:
SHALVA envisions a knowledgeable and supportive community dedicated to breaking the cycle of domestic abuse, where everyone feels safe and respected in their home or relationship.
We hope you will incorporate some of these resources into your Seder. Wishing you a meaningful Passover celebration filled with peace and love in your homes.
Marlene Copeland became the Executive Director of SHALVA in January 2023. Marlene has a master’s degree in Jewish Professional Studies from Spertus Institute for Jewish Learning and Leadership and has completed the State of Illinois 40 hour training for domestic violence professionals.
