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SIT Coping Form

Starting the Conversation

You know you want to help, but you are still nervous.

How do you have this difficult conversation and maintain your friendship?

It is tempting, and understandable, to want to “save” someone. But it is more effective to listen, support, and gently guide friends and family. Use language that shows you respect their choices.

Here are some helpful ways to start the conversation.

“I’ll keep what you said confidential.”

“The abuse isn’t your fault.”

“I’m so sorry that this is happening to you.”

“This must be so hard for you.”

“You don’t have to deal with this alone. There are resources available for you.”

“I’m glad you told me. I’d like to help.”

“You deserve to be safe.”

Your words can be helpful or hurtful.

Here are some things that might sound like you are blaming the victim.

“Are you a victim of domestic violence?”

“What was your part in the fight?”

“Why did you get involved with him?”

“You’re smart, why do you stay?”

“I can’t believe you are still with him!”

Taking this first step is hard, but its the right thing to do.

To help you feel prepared, practice your conversation or write down a few notes.

Need something else?

If you need to speak to someone, our Help Line is open 24/7
773-583-HOPE (4673)

SHALVA is dedicated to increasing community awareness about domestic abuse.